


When Great Trees Fall

by Antarktica



Category: E.R.
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Camaraderie, Canon Compliant, F/M, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Mentions Elizabeth & Romano, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Elizabeth/Mark, Post-Episode: s10e08 Free Fall, i suck at summaries, ill fix it someday i swear, relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 13:19:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13190946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarktica/pseuds/Antarktica
Summary: Everyone keeps telling her she deserves to be happy. That Mark would've wanted her to be happy. But this is destructive and it's insane and Elizabeth feels the need to control the situation.So she does. This is not her version of happy at all.





	When Great Trees Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Corday reassess her relationship with Dave and decides ending it would be better. The one with the surgeon, however, she thinks is already a lost cause but still feels the need to apologize to him. A lost cause, at least that's what she thought.

Elizabeth was _certain_ (at least for this matter) that after this operation or to be specific, shift, she'd have to end things with the teacher (because the surgeon was a lost cause). Hell, after the blunder she'd caused, thank goodness, Surgery wasn't that prone to rumours unlike down there in the E.R. She could practically see the male hormones trying to dominate one another and dear forbid she does not want to find herself in that position again. Which is why she has to settle this.

Before David does one of his assuming County trips again and with a flicker from those eyes of his, Elizabeth knows he’d practically be marking territory. Though, a side of Elizabeth disagrees very much, the side that needed to be freed and not caged at any point told her he had no right to do such thing as charming as it may be, it’s also controlling and suffocating and utterly dumb.

Seeing two men, however, was indeed a slutty move ( at least that’s what she thinks and despite Abby’s assurance that it was not when she’d asked) and she knows in her soul that both of them are good men. And like she kept repeating to herself, the surgeon was a lost cause yet she felt the need to apologize to him, and she will as she must. After this first round of guilt has been cleared. If it will ever be cleared.

This is wrong. She knew that much. Everything had gone all wrong. And she can’t bear feeling this way. Certainly, Mark would’ve wanted her to be happy but if he did—he should’ve not left her. But that was neither hers or his choice to make in the end. So, she’d pick herself up, beyond the destruction everything has weaved itself into.

Mark.

Romano.

A loved one and arguably—someone who had her back in those trying times she’d lost Mark, despite being the most infuriating scoundrel the world could conceive. God, she _hated_ the both of them, for being like that, for leaving her like this (Of course, if it was both up to them they’d stay—but it was just _not fair_ ). Hate is a loose term. It often sits between suppressed passion and care towards the person to the point it turns into hate when it is anything but that. It’s love at its most destructing point and its Elizabeth’s fall the longer she succumbs to it.

So here she was. At a café, sitting, waiting for the poor man whom she knew loved her daughter much as if she was his. But Elizabeth— _it’s practical, a teacher for goodness sake_ —she tries to convince herself to settle with this man while who provided her pleasures, in this case, were arguably short-lived. But it’s a _destructive_ method (She almost hears Susan’s voice in her head through one drunken girls night out time.) And for a short moment, she remembers Mark’s little quirks and how she appreciated them more when he’s long gone.

Every time the door opens, her head jolts up. At least this time it was the one whom she was waiting for. God, and he’d looked so tired but he still smiled at her. What her classmates back in med school must’ve been psychics, because they were right, she was a _cold-blooded slasher_ , after all this.

“Hi.” Elizabeth managed as David took the seat opposite her. Always intent on paying attention to her body language to the point of mimicking it. She noticed. Such a sweet man too. He greeted her back,  slightly too nervous for Elizabeth’s liking but perhaps he was mimicking her too. 

 _Listen, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.._ was the way Elizabeth wanted to start but of course, as much as timing goes, the waiter ought it’d be the best time to give them drinks Elizabeth ordered 20 minutes ago. He took a sip of his drink. Hot chocolate. She knew he loved it. Elizabeth only got herself a cappuccino, god forbid an incoming headache.

David  smiled at her, too expectant of what she’s about to declare, having come down after his work from one voicemail from Elizabeth saying “We have to talk.” And he’d gotten on the El just to be there and not make her wait. Stupid, sweet Dave.

“Okay…since that’s all out of the way and considering we’ll no longer be interrupted,” Elizabeth contemplated on her words, attempting to make it so blunt as it were in her head. “—I have to end things with you, Dave.”

And as much as the expected reaction goes, Dave does not drop his drink, thankfully, but sets it down instead as if asking for her to repeat those words back to him again.

Elizabeth starts and always tried her best to finish what she started, and she shall finish this—go through the process no matter how much it hurts.“—You’re a very sweet man, Dave. And certainly what I do not deserve at the moment. You deserve someone who does not juggle two men at once.”  The last part came out too blunt but that’s what she’s always been—blunt. And she may have taken Romano’s advice on honesty on this one. She flutters her eyes close, expecting a stream of comments she’d heard in earshot from arguing couples.

He seemed to have been in shock. It takes a few moments of Elizabeth fiddling with her drink, waiting for a response, waiting for his response until it settles to him, as it seemed to Elizabeth.

“..Oh.” Was all he managed, though.

“I’m sorry, Dave. I know you’re divorced and you really do deserve to be happy but…” Elizabeth paused. _Someone get her out of here._ “..you deserve someone who isn’t as destructive as I am at the moment.”

“—I’m fine with you, I’m not mad at you for dating two people at once, because I-I’ve done that before,” _Hypocrite_ , she finds herself thinking but waved it off. They were _both_ hypocrites. “--and I didn’t mean to myself. And Elizabeth you’re—“ Dave tried cutting her off. Oh, he tried. He’ll try fixing her too. And Elizabeth Corday does not want to be fixed because at this point, she’s beyond repair.

“—I’m sorry, I just have to do this. Thank you for dropping Ella back home with my nanny. _Thank you_.”  With that, Elizabeth walked out of the café. Or more accurately, ran away from Dave. From everything. Feeling too suffocated and not wanting to argue anymore. Because it simply couldn’t continue. She hasn’t forgotten about Mark. And now she’s still dealing with Romano—and it’s exhausting.

She’d rather bury herself in a hot bath rather than in another rendezvous, at the moment.

* * *

 

The bath was longer than expected. And it relaxed at least most of the tension that’s been building upon her shoulders. If Mark were here, he’d be—god. She sighed. Mark was gone. And she has to accept that.

So she buries herself in the bath, thinking a few more minutes is still appropriate to stay. Even when it went cold already. She does not know. Elizabeth hasn’t much certainty in her head anymore. She just crosses her fingers to whoever’s listening that the guy she just dumped finds someone he deserves. Anything but her.

Elizabeth decides to succumb to her occasional pessimistic talk inside her head. Well, until her phone thought it’d be terrific timing to ring and she’d had to get up from the bath in order to answer it. It may be something important, after all. She picks it up.

“Elizabeth?” It was Shirley’s voice. Was she on a break?

“Yes, Shirley?”

“Sorry, I know it’s extremely late but that guy from Radiologist,” Her heart skipped a beat. Dr Lawson. Damn it.”—approached me into telling you if you two could talk. Something like that. He’s actually here, I’ll give the phone to him.” Bad timings.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” She managed although it sounded more like a gasp.

“I wanna talk to you about what happened and—“ And by all laws and protocols there could be, being a Radiologist, Lawson could swear he heard her breath hitch. “—Are you okay?”

Elizabeth stuttered an “I’m fine—what is it?” and she hopes he buys it. She heard him sigh and supposed he bought it.

“—I want to talk with you, if that’s fine because I don’t want to strain things between us and—“

“I know.”

“—Okay. You decide when that is.”

“I will. Good night.”

“Good night, Elizabeth.” She dropped the call.

At least it wasn’t Dr Corday anymore. The last thing Elizabeth needed was a petty feud with someone from another department and considering their paths would be crossing a lot, a truce or some sort of peace and no bitter feelings talk would provide her with some sort of feeling of security.

* * *

 

Next morning was a bit easier on Elizabeth. If one excludes the part of having to wake up early because well, she’s a surgeon and she needs to be early. She always arrived early.

She was scheduled for a partial nephrectomy on a 63-year old man with papillary renal cell carcinoma. And then a vasectomy for later. Her pager rang, it always does when she finally gets to take a break. But surgical consult she goes. Apparently, going further on torturing herself, she takes the flight of stairs. And then pretended she didn’t see Lawson in the elevator shortly before it closed.

“What is it?”

“MVA. Massive head trauma—“ A nurse chimed before being cut off by Carter.

“No, no, you were supposed to come down for the man with a bullet in his heart…and this is déjà vu,” Carter said. Damn that Lawson. So much for taking the flight of stairs.

“Well don’t tell me he’s going to do this one and then let me do the cutdown?” And when the only response was a shrug from Carter, Elizabeth rolled her eyes and stomped off the room, “That’s a yes, then.”

“Dr Corday!” Carter called out to her.

“What?!”

“I won’t tell anyone you killed the new invasive radiologist!” He said before closing the door to the lounge and Elizabeth internally marked one certain Dr Lawson for a target.

“Very funny, Carter.” Seriously, she might if she didn’t feel so bad for him.

She’d previously came down earlier for a consult only for this 3rd trip to be botched by the said radiologist. Elizabeth makes her way to the desk to check on the chart of her previous patient and sign it.

“So…how was the teacher?” Abby and her terrific timing.

“I…” Elizabeth stalled. Not really sure whether to tell Abby this but decided hell she could use a slight de-stress.”Well, I told him I won’t be seeing him again.”

Abby momentarily looks shocked and then everything sinks in for her.

She gaped. “Oh my god, you slept with him?!”

“Well..not intentionally, but..”

“..you’re just so sexually frustrated right now?”

Elizabeth shook her head.

“…it’s because of this one surgeon..?”

She could feel her cheeks redden from that.

Elizabeth didn’t’ even need to tell her she was, indeed, correct. “Oh. Bingo.” Abby seemed satisfied with herself. Score two for Abby Lockhart.

“I don’t have that kind of interest in him.” Honestly, the last thing Elizabeth needed right now is that irritating person. That overstepping, living and breathing hell of an invasive radiologist who almost always seem to get away from her wrath by segue a request if they could go out for dinner.  Elizabeth digressed from these thoughts and added, “In fact, I’m rather pissed at him because he’s so fond of poaching my patients.”

“Elizabeth. The guy could just be trying.”

“I know, but still.”

“Yeah, just tell me if you need any assistance for the hacking of his head.” Abby arranged her charts and went back to her patients. Elizabeth chuckled at the woman’s humour, it’s why she liked Abby a lot. Her incredibly dry sense of humour. A little taste of home (Damn it).

* * *

 

Thank goodness for little breaks after a long round of surgery. Her back was killing her, to be frank, and today’s thoughts weren’t much help. If Elizabeth was being honest, all these factors play into the fact she’s drowning herself in this cup of latte.

“Did I hear correctly that Dr Lawson poached one of your patients again?” Shirley asked when she found her at the lounge, trying to bury her thoughts in a cup of latte.

“You heard correctly,” Elizabeth said begrudgingly. She better not see him today or she might end up strangling him to death.

“Well, he’s here now.” She raised an eyebrow at Shirley. There wasn’t even time to react because Shirley left the room as soon as Lawson entered. Really now, Shirley?  And she thought she was the one to decide when they’ll talk. For an English person, he acted like he forgot his manners.

He took the chair in front of her. Elizabeth not wanting to meet his eyes and finding the cup of coffee she’s holding way more interesting than his presence. Though if given the opportunity, she’d make him swear involuntarily to never poach any of her patients, ever again.

“Can we—“

 “I don’t appreciate your incessant actions to poach my patients in an attempt to cut the procedures I do every day as some sort of help. Because if you truly wanted to help, you would not poach them whenever you please. Are we clear, Dr Lawson?” Elizabeth cut him off. Work first. And she’d be damned if he didn’t agree.

“ _Yes, ma’am_. So now, can we—“

“Yes,” Elizabeth responded curtly.

“So… I don’t mean to strain our relationship because of what’s-his-name..”

“There should be an ‘or’ following.” She interrupted.

“Or… with my futile attempts to get you out of work by doing them for you, in order to talk to you later. I’m sorry again, won’t happen. But mostly, you and… me.”

“What of it?”

“Well, you know…”

Elizabeth supposed she’s done playing all innocent and lays out her cards on the table, just to get over this and whatever she’s feeling right now. She sighed and said, “Okay, no, listen. Just to clarify, do not assume this is for you or because of you. Because this is for me and my attempt to get myself out of this destructive path I’m venturing into,” She took a pause. “I broke up with him.”

She’d spent many hours trying to convince herself she did the right thing by breaking up the relationship she has with the teacher. But pursuing one with this invasive radiologist who kept poaching her patients? _Far from it_. Honestly far from it. Well, perhaps, as long as he doesn’t do that _smile_ around her. It pissed her off so much she thought it was rather charming.

“—Oh.” He blinks in confusion. Apparently, he was expecting some sort of hard slapped rejection of anything relating to Elizabeth Corday. But this isn’t too bad. Elizabeth is a great woman and surgeon—and they really got along. Despite certain short-comings of patient-poaching.

“And do not assume from this that I will continue seeing you.” Of course, she’s a woman of high morals. But it depends, mostly. Since she actually thought this was a lost cause and that Lawson had lost interest when he discovered she’d been dating two men at once. Perhaps she misunderstood.

“So… are we okay?” He inquired,  cautious of the words he speaks to her.

“We are. As long as you stop poaching my patients.” Elizabeth declared in a matter of fact manner.

“Okay…well, I’m— _okay_. See you tomorrow, Elizabeth.” Lawson replied meekly. Almost as if he was speechless and ended up getting up and left the lounge after smiling a smile that reached his ears at Elizabeth. _Shoot!_

“See you.”

 _Bloody hell,_ that skip could only mean **_trouble._**

**Author's Note:**

> So Jeremy Lawson is that invasive radiologist that appears in not enough episodes-- I mean that season 10 episode titled "Get Carter". And he's played by Paul Blackthorne and I like to think Elizabeth made peace with him after that awkward moment. (And also end up with him but let's get to that later)
> 
> Also the title is from Maya Angelou's poem with the same title. The chapters are inspired by it too.


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